It’s Okay Not To Be Okay! – Struggling To Cope.

I’ve been debating whether to talk about the subject of mental health here on the blog for a while but after much persuasion from my Twitter pals that it was a good idea, I’ve decided to start a new series called ‘It’s Okay Not To Be Okay’. I’m not sure how in depth i’m going to go into my own mental health, however I thought I’d kick the series off with a post on struggling to cope. I think the posts are going to flow more like a chat than advice, but as this is the first one and i’m a bit nervous, it could still change! Lets just see how it goes!

I think the main thing for me is that people don’t understand why I struggle to cope with things, I mean I’m doing well at uni, have a lovely boyfriend and dog, live with my family and have a job lined up once I graduate so what do I have to worry about?! But in reality the small things can sometimes tip us over the edge. Healthcare professionals always use the metaphor of us being like a swan, calm on the surface but underneath your legs are flailing in an attempt to keep you afloat and honestly, this couldn’t be a better interpretation! Day to day normalities can sometimes build up to a point where you don’t know what to do first and you feel this mounting pressure that you just can’t shake. For me, this morning I woke up and it was like someone was sat on my chest and I couldn’t get them off (I can assure you no-one was and neither was the dog!!). I’m behind on a couple of my lectures, i’m failing to blog as much as i’d like, my rooms a tip, the dog needs walking and my toenails are in dire need of some polish but I just can’t seem to make the time to do any of it!

So what am I doing instead? Trying to have a social life after my two previous years of uni being known as ‘the grandma’ of the group, getting involved in societies, working, attending lectures and seminars and my personal favourite escape, reading. I don’t know about you, but when I pick up a book, I get lost and my troubles seem much less significant and they slip to the back of my mind. It’s a method i’ve been using to relax since I was first able to read and clearly I’ve needed to relax a lot this year as I’m currently reading my 123rd book of the year! For me, it’s hard to maintain good relationships when you feel like you are unable to cope as it seems that you are always letting someone down and that makes you feel worse. Are you neglecting your partner, snapping at your parents, not seeing your friends enough, letting your followers down. It’s incredibly difficult to find that balance and that pressure alone can sometimes be enough to make you feel like you’re floundering.

On more than one occasion, i’ve had people say ‘oh what do you have to worry about, you seem like you’ve got your life together’ and honestly I feel like laughing in their faces! Yes on paper, it’s all coming together nicely but in the back of my mind I almost feel like it’s too good to be true, that one tiny slip and it’s all going to come tumbling down around me until i’m as far from ‘having it together’ as physically possible. I know I’m not alone in this feeling and that the thoughts are probably pretty irrational, however they’re still there and they just won’t go away. I think that the key thing is that no matter how many people convince you otherwise or tell you everything’s going well, if you don’t believe it yourself then that fear is always going to still be there, lurking.

So, is there anyway we can alleviate this feeling? Well I can honestly say that writing this post has lifted some of that pressure. As i’m typing I can feel that weight in my chest lessening and it feels bloody amazing! As a person who loves to ‘escape’ their problems, I can probably say it’s best not to procrastinate. Create a list of everything that you think you need to do and if you tick off one a day then great, you’re one step closer and you’ve achieved a goal no matter how minor. Talking of goals, set realistic targets! Don’t start saying you’re going to get everything done in a few hours or that your entire 2000 word essay is going to be written by lunch, you’re just preparing yourself to feel like you’ve failed! If you go over your targets then you’ll just feel even better so why not give yourself some moral support! Getting some fresh air always works for me! I’ve just walked JJ for 50 minutes and I feel like my mind is clearer, my body is better for the little bit of exercise and I just took a few minutes to appreciate the good things that are going on rather than worrying about everything else. The thing is, in the grand scheme of things the problems are pretty small, but to us, they feel pretty damn huge! Taking a few minutes to reevaluate things and just gather yourself together can work wonders!

I think i’m going to leave it there today, I don’t want to make it too rambling and I want to get a idea of whether you guys are interested in more posts like this or not. I’m not normally one for making my blog incredibly personal, however I’ve found this incredibly therapeutic and if it helps just one person, I’ll feel a bit better about it! Let me know your thoughts and if there are any other titles that you’d like to see in this series! Thank you so much for taking the time to read to the end!

Much Love

xoxo

 

 

Advertisements

44 thoughts on “It’s Okay Not To Be Okay! – Struggling To Cope.

  1. I love this post, so proud of you for publishing it!! I completely agree with the list thing, I really can not relax until I know everything is done. So when you have a list and you can tick stuff off it definitely helps because you can actually see you are getting stuff done. Lovely post missy 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done Molly!
    I totally know where you’re coming from, in my old job in particular I’d boil over with just feeling stressed all the time and end up in tears about once a month at work (and even more often while driving home!) – everything can seem totally okay on the surface but that pressure can be crushing at times, even when you’ve technically “got your life together” by other people’s standards.

    I hope it helps getting it off your chest, I had something similar last week and told no one about if for 3 weeks and it was making me sleepless and sick, once I shared it on Friday it felt like a problem was halved.

    Making a list is a great tip, I’d never have got through uni without it, I imagine living at home is almost harder than living away at Uni as it’s easy to get distracted at home and have the pressures of parents/friends around you at the same time.

    Also – Go you on reading 123 books this year, that’s just incomprehensible to me, I seem to only manage to read whilst on holiday, so last October was the last time I finished a book I’m ashamed to say!
    If you ever want anyone to talk to, feel free to vent at me!
    xxx

    Like

    • Thanks Rachael! I did really help to get it off my chest, kind of feels a little exposing but I guess that’s cos it’s the first time! Yeah at home it’s just easy to go for a bath or chat to your parents and then suddenly it’s 3 hours later!! I’ve always been a book worm! My dad used to call me hermione granger lol! Thanks so much for just being so lovely!! Xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well done Molly! It takes a lot of courage to open up about these kind of things! Making lists are so therapeutic and ticking things off are the best! Getting the right balance between different things in your life is difficult, one of the best ways to get around it is to set a time for things like spending a certain amount of time on work and another ensuring you see friends every now and again! That way too you can relax more and enjoy things better instead of worrying – which I tend to do a lot! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a really great post Molly! I know how you feel and reading helps me to relax as well, along with a nice bubble bath (usually a Lush bath) and also to talk about whatever is getting me down. I’m glad you feel better after writing this post! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just remember there’s always people here who love you, and that there’s very few things in this world that a nice hot chocolate, bubble bath or cup of tea can’t fix. I’ve read your post and this has actually helped me view my own mental illnesses in a different light. I can absolutely relate to the effect it can have on relationships and the people you care about. I just posted something basically laughing at my problems and how out of control my life really is. You’ve given me some real hope that it’ll get better soon, and seeing your post really makes me feel more at ease with myself. I wish you all the very best xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! That really means a lot. I think the thing is to remember that we just have to keep going to the best of your ability. If ever fancy a chat or are feeling down, feel free to email or contact me on twitter! You’re never on your own! Xxx

      Like

  6. I identify with this so, so strongly. I love this post and it was so well written, especially in terms of explaining this to people who don’t quite understand how the day-to-day can be such a struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is a great post! Thank you for opening up – you have no idea how many people this will help and resonate with (myself included)!

    & All the best with the rest of your uni degree. I know that struggle all too well lol

    Wunms xx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Mental health is something that should be openly talked about more, so good for you for taking the step in the right direction. We need to create more awareness so that it isn’t such a taboo subject, and it all starts with being honest about how we are feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is a wonderful post!! It’s definitely hard when people think you’ve got it all together because it adds a pressure to live up to their expectations, for me anyway. I love how relaxed and honest this post is xx

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Every single word of your post is so damn true .. It happens , sometimes you don’t even know why is that burden on your chest. Maybe it is because of the fear of not getting something you want so badly and if you have got it , then the fear of losing it. Sometimes we just need to relax and calm ourselves down . Eventually , everything will fall in its place. Thankyou so much for this lovely post. 😊👍

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Such a brave and honest post, I can totally relate and can say I feel the same! I hope you’ve managed to feel a little better but it’s so okay if not. love that you shared this xxx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s